When Good Pranks Go Horribly Wrong
by Ashabadash
Summary: lets just say: it involves Frogger, scissors, kelly, "fact", spiders, and jim's neck.... Now you really wanna read it...


It had been a long day

It had been a long day. Andy Bernard had only made two sales calls that went absolutely nowhere. He had now been sitting at his desk for the past three hours playing _Frogger_ and successfully loosing every time.

Jim, unaware of Andy's street-crossing-frog issues, walked past Andy's desk, hearing him mutter something about a "speeding taxi…should watch where he's driving…" Jim shrugged, figuring this was just Andy finally going past his regular insanity level, and continued his walk toward Pam's desk.

Dwight kept staring at the clock. He stared so intently that anyone who noticed was sure that the clock on the wall would explode. Suddenly, Dwight spoke, breaking the silence of the office.

"Fact, any arachnid with a red back can be considered poisonous," he said randomly.

"Thank you Dwight," Jim retorted. "I was just wondering about that." Pam laughed. Kelly walked in, passed Jim and Pam, straight through Dwight's power stare, and next to Andy's desk before she screamed, alerting everyone in the office.

Andy, who was on the last road in _Frogger_ looked up to see what was going on, resulting in his little frog getting hit by another taxi.

"Ohmigawd!" Kelly screamed.

"What happened?" Angela asked, walking over toward the commotion.

"IT'S A SPIDER!" she pointed toward the clock.

Everyone looked and sure enough, about a foot under the clock, was a fat, lazy spider just hanging there. Jim then walked over to the spider to take a closer look.

"Fascinating," he said. "I like the cool red design on its back…" Jim held a straight face as Dwight's eyes grew wide.

_To the Camera Men:_

**Dwight: **_I am highly trained in the protection against venomous beasts of all sizes. A bite in the neck by a red backed wolverine spider is supposedly painless and can be fatal in minutes. There was only one way to save Jim…_

Dwight suddenly leapt across his desk, knocking over all the files on Andy's desk onto the floor. He jumped on Jim's back and dragged him away from the wall, both men landing on the floor.

"Dwight, what are you doing?" Angela yelled.

"We need to suck the poison out!" Dwight said, trying to bring his lips to Jim's neck. This was a difficult task because Jim was fighting for the safety of his neck away from his fellow sales-man.

"Dwight, get off!" Jim struggled. Pam had nearly fallen on the floor laughing. "I didn't get poisoned by the spider!"

_To the Camera Men:_

**Kelly: **_I think Dwight was trying to kiss Jim's neck…_

_It was pretty hot._

**Pam: **_Was this an excuse for Dwight to kiss Jim's neck?... I'm not sure…_

The boy's rolled on the floor and slammed into Andy's desk, causing poor Frogger to be hit by a semi truck. Andy simply stared at the screen. Frogger continued to get hit by a semi truck, or a taxi, or some stupid red car.

"THE FROG KEEPS DYING!" Andy yelled, making the room freeze. Dwight and Jim were still on the floor, Dwight mere inches from Jim's neck when Angela and Pam pulled them apart. They all stared at Andy. "STUPID TAXI!" and he took his scissors off his desk and chucked them across the room at the spider.

The scissors split the spider in half, indenting themselves in the wall. Everyone stood in a fearful silence, looking between Andy and the scissors that were wobbling on the wall. Pam then took a step toward Andy, but Jim pulled her back.

"No, Pam, don't, it's not safe…" Jim said.

"I'll be okay," Pam said as she moved slowly toward Andy. Without saying anything, She took Andy's keyboard and helped little Frogger cross the street.

"Thank you Pam…"Andy said sincerely.

_To the Camera Man:_

**Pam: **_I think I might talk to Andy about going back to Anger Management. That poor wall couldn't see what was coming._

**Jim: **_I've now added to my list of good advice. 'Do not bring a fake spider with you to work, because someone __will__ try to suck on your neck, and scissors will fly across the room…'_


End file.
